Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Dwarf Tossing

With apologies to Little People everywhere…

We recently discussed fairy tales. I posit to you that we aspiring writers are Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. And it is ‘dwarfs,’ not ‘dwarves.’ I looked it up. Apparently, Disney can do what it damn well pleases when it comes to spelling and just about everything else.

We are not bipolar; we are octopolar.

We are sweet, naïve, innocent, virtuous as the pure Snow White page. We believe someday our princes and publishers will come. We whistle while we work. So maybe we’re not that careful of what we eat. Woman cannot live by poisoned apples alone. Chocolate and diet soda only kill mice in excessive quantities anyway.

At first we are Happy and carefree. Struck by the Muse and manic obsession to write the greatest story ever told.

Then along comes Grumpy, who is never satisfied with the prose/plot/position chosen. And even if Doc comes along to revise, equipped with a thesaurus and help from his critique group, Grumpy is not satisfied. That’s if Bashful has even allowed the critique group to look things over, because Bashful feels pretty Dopey most of the time. Pitch 400 pages in a paragraph? Like that’s ever going to happen. And he’s allergic to true criticism; nothing makes him Sneezy faster than point of view problems being pointed out. It’s enough to depress him so entirely he becomes Sleepy, naps for twenty years to avoid failure and turns into another tale altogether, Rip van Winkle.

Which dwarf do you want to toss the farthest?

There's no use in grumbling
When the raindrops come tumbling
Remember, you're the one
Who can fill the world with sunshine~ With a Smile and a Song

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, let's toss Bashful first. He's the one that makes you keep your mouth shut about being a writer (so no one will THINK you are Dopey) and definitely doesn't want you to show your work to anyone (because they will KNOW that you are Dopey). Heave Ho!

Maggie Robinson said...

Anon, I'm pretty Bashful too, but I think Sneezy is my ultimate undoing. I keep hearing Jack Nicholson roar, "You can't handle the truth!"

BernardL said...

Happy. Ever present annoying smile, always upbeat even if his feet are on fire, Happy, Happy, Happy...oh barf! :)

TiffinaC said...

Get rid of grumpy I say. It's my downfall on the bad days. he needs a good lynchin'... :D

irisheyes said...

I'd say Bashful, too. It would be years before I gave my work to anyone to read, let alone critque! I think, for me at least, getting rid of Bashful would be the first step to hoisting the rest of them overboard!

Janga said...

Clever Maggie! I'd like to toss them all. I sometimes succeed in tossing Bashful, but he is surprisingly tenacious. Grumpy is my most consistent enemy, and Sleepy is my greatest fear.

Tessa Dare said...

Lately I've been in a definite Sleepy phase.

I will go off-page and say I'd most like to ditch the Evil Queen - that voice of professional envy when I read a book that is sooooooooo much better than anything I ever have, and likely ever will, write.

Was it Snow White who had the little birds who helped her with the laundry? That's what I want!

Elyssa Papa said...

Can I ditch them all? No. Hmmm... I'm going to have to agree with Tiff and ditch Grumpy...

Oh, actually the hunter guy who takes Snow White into the forrests and can't kill her... it's like those agents/editors who say send me a partial and then turn you down and tell you to find luck elsewhere.

Maggie Robinson said...

LOL Ely and Tessa...you're both vastly improving my fable! I forgot about the hunter and the queen. So now we're Decapolar.

Bernard, Happy is so happy he doesn't even care if you don't like him.

Janga, I too fear Sleepy, but I'm more semi-conscious than totally out.

Irish, Bashful, I think, is built into all of us.

Tiff, Grumpy begone. Don't you wish they made some kind of potion?

terrio said...

I say toss Grumpy. Never satisfied are two words I'm growing to hate. Just once, I want to be completely satisfied. Hmpht.

And before you gutter minds can get a hold of that one, I mean regarding writing. Yeah, like you weren't thinking it...

Renee said...

Love it! I'd say Bashful, because that is the one area I struggle with the most. I hate putting myself out there for criticism.

Renee